What I Miss Most

January 9, 2022

Good morning friends.  I hope you are doing well.  Did everyone enjoy the first week of 2022?  It went pretty well down south, so I have no complaints.  I can’t speak for the rest of the country or world.  I know the virus issues and mayhem it’s creating are on the war path once again.  How many ‘boosters’ does it take for people to realize you can’t control nature.  I plan to do all I can to stay present and focused each day.  Don’t fear what the future may or may not bring.  Fear can be a paralyzing force; restricting our ability and happiness.  There will always be struggles, issues to overcome or difficulties to deal with along our path.  The road of life isn’t always easy or simple.  It’s never perfect.  Negativity will continue its attempt to invade your mind.  Don’t allow these thoughts to consume you.  Recognize and dispatch them as soon as they appear.  Each new sunrise creates new opportunities to turn your dreams into reality.  It will take work, because all good things require effort.  There are no limitations for our capacity to achieve greatness.  Believe in yourself, do the work and live your dreams and passions.  Love your life, be happy and positive.  I realize these simple requests sound like a tall order for some of you.  Maintaining a strong mental attitude and outlook on life takes dedication and stamina.  Remember, you are responsible for your own happiness.  It doesn’t come from another person, place or thing.  Our personal happiness grows from within each of us.  When you control your mind and thoughts, gratitude, clarity and happiness follow.

As the years pass and my age increases, time seems to move at a faster pace.  The holidays and new years’ continue to tick away.  The first week of 2022 caused me to reflect on my past, knowing life comes with an expiration date.  I realized how much time I’ve wasted on frivolous pursuits, foolish ego and stubborn attitudes.  When my thoughts control me, they restrict my actions, interfere with my logical reasoning and intuitive processes.  The mind can create untrue stories and spin wild tales.  These misguided thoughts can ruin life and love.  If we allow these ideas to go unchecked, they create more negativity and chaos within us.  My plan for the new year is to strive to remain in the present each day.  Wisdom, knowledge and presence of mind allow me to recognize when my thoughts begin spinning false stories.  Stopping these fabrications immediately is key to bring myself back to reality.  I don’t allow what happened in the past to dictate my present or future.  I learn from my previous experiences, mistakes or life events.  I move forward with the knowledge and clarity I’ve gained, creating a bright and beautiful new life.  You can achieve this ability just as easy.  It begins by maintaining control of your mind.  Stay in the present, living today without fear.

Since my move from Southern California to Charleston South Carolina, people ask me, “Why?”  The follow up question is typically, “Don’t you miss it?”  I can understand why people would ask both.  I was born and raised in SoCal.  I lived there my entire life; so the questions are valid.  My answers are a complicated mix and not so simple.  To be honest, my journey began many years ago.  I considered moving out of state, even before I was married and my daughter was born.  I looked at various cities for possible work or retirement locations.  After my divorce, my life changed.  Sharing custody of our daughter gave me an entirely new focus and appreciation for life.  I devoted my off time to my daughter, as I struggled with my own fears and insecurities.  The “crucial communication” aspect of relationships never came easy for me.  The trauma and stress endured from my profession, coupled with a complicated childhood with an over protective mom, didn’t help me.  It’s taken me many years, including counseling, EMDR therapy, introspective processes and soul searching to resolve these issues.  I continue to be a work in progress.  The best part of the process is allowing healing to occur.

Every night when I go to bed, I say my prayers; thanking God for life and being grateful for all I have.  I thank my Dad (my friends’ father and Cinnamon) for watching over our families.  It’s become part of my nightly ritual since he passed away eight years ago.  It makes me feel good to talk with him.  The other night while thanking him, a feeling came over me of how much I miss his presence.  Whenever I’d see him, he’d always give me a big hug.  I never fully understood the significance or importance of these gestures until he was gone.  His hugs conveyed messages filled with love, respect, gratitude, caring and so much more.  I can remember how amazing they felt and the energy they carried.  I miss him every day and I miss his hugs most of all.  I miss our dog Cinnamon.  My daughter and I rescued her when she was a puppy.  She was our loving bundle of joy for nearly 16 years, until cancer took her in 2017.  I miss my family and close friends still living in California.  I miss people, places, things and opportunities that passed by without me acting.  These moments may never be recaptured, but things can be replaced and places can be re-visited.  The important people that are no longer here, may be gone from my touch, but they’re never forgotten.  The love and amazing people I’ve lost in my life hurt me the most.  Unfortunately, in some cases,  I didn’t realize how incredible and valuable they are until they’re no longer by my side.  With this loss comes the stark realization what their presence and love really meant. 

Living on my own, I realize how much I miss hugs of someone I love.  I’m not referring to a courtesy hug you give a family member, friend or acquaintance.  I’m talking about an embrace of epic proportion.  The most amazing and magnificent hugs are those shared with someone you love.  These beautiful acts connect two people in a way that I can’t really explain, describe or express in words.  It’s an act that bonds two individuals, as they share their power, passion and energy with each other.  This phenomenon has to be experienced to truly grasp the enormity of their intensity and bliss they create.  A hug filled with love is like a full blown adrenal rush of a wild dare devil stunt or extreme adventure.  It’s a difficult experience to fully comprehend; like the thrill of fast roping out of a helicopter onto the rooftop of a skyscraper or riding a horse at a full gallop.  Unless you’ve done it, you just can’t fully understand how it feels.  The grasp of these emotions that stir within you are immediate and incredible.  You have to hug someone you truly love to feel the emotion, love and passion associated with it.  When you’re being held in another individuals deep embrace, it’s an incredible feeling.  When two humans connect in a loving relationship, sharing a hug can be filled with passion, excitement and joy.  These simple, yet incredible gestures, make you feel safe, cared for, vulnerable and in amazing bliss.  I miss spectacular hugs filled with extraordinary emotion and love.

Life is an incredible and amazing journey.  It’s an adventure filled with new experiences, joys and sorrows.  I don’t miss places, objects or things.  I miss the amazing, wonderful and loving individuals no longer next to me.  It’s okay to miss those we love.  Cherish and honor the time spent with them and the memories you created together.  I can’t replace these people, but I hope I encounter new faces that bring pleasure and love in my new experiences.  New opportunities begin with each sunrise.  It’s never too late and you’re never too old to dream new dreams.  We are our own biggest limitation to success.  Our fears and negative thoughts often over ride and restrict us from living our passions or fulfilling our goals.  Don’t allow fear to block your path or close you off from living life.  I remind myself every morning, “I’m grateful for life today and happy for the opportunities to spread love, joy and happiness.”  You have to live life in order to enjoy it’s incredible beauty.  Open your heart, mind and soul to the universe.  Stay positive and focused on the present my friends.  Follow your dreams.  They know the way.

Please tune in and join me again next Sunday for more!  The healthy life puzzle is always in rotation.  Let’s be healthy and strong mentally, physically and spiritually!

Thanks for your love and support!  Embrace Life!  Be sure to get outside and enjoy nature!

Published by lapd22695

My goal is to be a better me. I want people to be more aware about mental and physical health. We are all humans living on this planet. Let's enjoy our lives, happy and healthy. It's okay to smile and help others along the way.

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