Don’t Ignore Your Trauma

August 28, 2022

Good morning my friends.  I hope you are doing well and enjoying life.  The number of incidents and stories of violence occurring in our nation and around the world seem to increase daily.  These traumatic events are sad and they have a negative impact on the lives of everyone associated with them.  Trauma occurs from a variety of sources or violent acts; often associated with victims of crimes, mental or physical abuse or professions prone to dealing with a variety of circumstances (such as law enforcement, military, fire or medical personnel).  When you are the victim of a trauma causing act, it can have devasting consequences; mentally, physically and spiritually.  If you do nothing to relieve or resolve these issues, the negativity associated with the event will continue to linger and create more suffering within you.  The sorrow, scars, nightmares and devastating thoughts that trauma creates can keep you from living a happy and fruitful life.  I know, because it happened to me.  I never considered myself to be affected by life events or trauma I was associated with, but apparently, I was.  Let’s face it, life happens to us all.  We can’t always escape its harm or the anxiety and stress it creates.  Many individuals experience acts of violence or trauma, that is harmful in multiple ways.  These acts could be witnessed or; if you were a victim, they can continue to cause ceaseless pain.  The fear and apprehension these events bring into your life are real and debilitating.  Don’t allow trauma from the past hold you back from living in the present.  Your life can be full of happiness.  I can attest to the value of the healing process.  The release of my past and trauma brought resolution and peace into my life.  It’s an enlightening experience.      

Over recent years (since I retired), I’ve dug deep into myself; physically, mentally and spiritually.  This was the first time in my life, I realized I needed to resolve issues associated with my past, relationships, childhood, self-care and just me.  It wasn’t an easy process, especially when I had to admit I couldn’t help myself get to a better place mentally.  For me; a man, strong persona, former law enforcement officer and sometimes stubborn individual; making a decision to seek professional assistance and guidance wasn’t quick, simple or easy.  My self-perception told me I was capable of handling any situation, good or bad, thrown at me.  Resolving critical incidents, at work, was a daily occurrence for me.  Why would I think I wouldn’t be able to handle my own personal issues in the same manner?  I have been open to change for many years, but somehow neglected to include changing “me” in the process.  Unfortunately, my break up, of a serious relationship with an amazing woman, forced me to realize I needed professional guidance.  I believed I could heal myself, and resisted the idea that seeking the aid of a therapist was needed.  The entire “macho” or tough guy attitude was a cover or shield to protect a scared individual who was fearful to show emotion or reveal his weaknesses.  It’s sad I lost an incredible love over something so foolish.  I allowed the trauma of my past to influence my present.  What I later realized is this; strength and courage are when a man (or woman) can openly admit and share their weaknesses, emotions, passions and thoughts with the people they love without fear.  Opening your heart and soul to someone special is where strength begins and true love develops and grows.  This openness doesn’t mean I’m weak in any way, shape or form.  It means I’m a human being, who is willing to share himself with the people I love.  Don’t ignore the trauma of your past.  Deal with it now, to lift the weight and constraints of fear and sorrow from your heart.  The first step to healing is typically the most difficult to admit.  When I made that admission, it saved my life.  I may have lost a fantastic relationship, but I retained a trusted friend.

When I speak about my trauma, I want you to know that I don’t consider myself a victim; in any way, shape or form.  The events I experienced as a kid, weren’t necessarily traumatic at the time they occurred.  My childhood issues weren’t severe or physical in nature.  It took years before I realized how my mom’s interaction with me as a child, was having a negative impact in my present.  These issues, while not beneficial for me, are truly insignificant compared to what I’ve seen others experience, deal with, endure and survive.  The events surrounding my childhood really are minuscule in the grand scheme of life.  The events and incidents I witnessed, throughout my career in law enforcement, are sad, terrifying and horrific; but I wasn’t the person they were direct toward.  I was there merely doing my job.  The real victims are the many individuals who were the intentional targets, affected by the events I responded to as a police officer.  The many victims I encountered; associated with a variety of crimes and incidents, (during my career), suffered far more than I can ever imagine.  The violence of abuse, torture, attacks, murders, suicides and car accidents had a profound effect on me.  The beatings and torture women and children endured were truly horrible.  There were many times I wanted to break down and cry, but I couldn’t.  The destruction, death, bloody and lifeless bodies are vivid memories in my mind.  The trauma I witnessed was residual or secondary, to what the real victims experienced.  None the less, these events tortured me for many years.  I wasn’t prepared and didn’t know how to release the trauma, so it remained locked inside me.  The negativity created inside my body, impacted my life physically, mentally and spiritually.  I ignored these feelings (and the nightmares) for many years, believing this was just part of my life.  The power of love guided me (or basically pushed me off the cliff) to take charge of my life.  Yoga, meditation and counseling showed me how to control my thoughts, change my attitude and develop a new perception for life, happiness and love.  The therapy worked its magic.  Gone are the graphic thoughts and dreams associated with my trauma and past.  Now I am able to live my life in peace and harmony. 

The last few years have brought many new revelations into who I am and where I’m going.  I lost an incredible love; but I’ve gained an entirely new perspective and attitude on life.  I’ve learned to love myself and be happy with who I am.  I see the opportunities in each new day; to be a better person and to enjoy each moment I’m on this earth.  I greet the sunrise with thanks, gratitude and happiness.  I cherish life and remain positive and hopeful.  This doesn’t mean my life is perfect, because it never will be.  Right now (in the present), it’s perfect for me.  Life will always have obstacles.  Now I know and understand how to navigate myself along the path.  My journey is filled with joy.  I know a fantastic love will find me someday too.  I place my trust in God and Universe; knowing they will guide me.  Life is definitely an amazing and incredible journey.  It’s even better when you can release your past (including the trauma) and move forward with confidence and strength.  Don’t be fearful to seek aid or assistance.  We can all use some professional guidance from time to time.  Live your dreams, follow your passions, reach for your stars and trust yourself.  Life can be easy if you allow it to be.  Follow your dreams.  They know the way.

Please tune in and join me again next Sunday for more!  The puzzle of life is always changing.  Change can lead to amazing opportunities.  Together, let’s be healthy and strong; mentally, physically and spiritually! 

Thanks for your love and support!  Embrace Life!  Be sure to get outside and enjoy nature!

Published by lapd22695

My goal is to be a better me. I want people to be more aware about mental and physical health. We are all humans living on this planet. Let's enjoy our lives, happy and healthy. It's okay to smile and help others along the way.

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