The Road

October 2, 2022

Good morning my friends.  I hope you are doing well and enjoying life.   I want to begin todays blog by acknowledging everyone in Florida and all those affected by Hurricane Ian.  This devastating and catastrophic natural disaster wreaked havoc and destruction across this beautiful state.  The loss of life is sad and tragic.  Property, homes and things can be replaced or rebuilt.  The lives lost will be mourned by all.  I find it interesting how some people are astonished when events like this occur.  Experts say approximately 40% of the world’s population live next to an ocean.  Big cities, small communities, business and homes all enjoy seaside living.  Building structures and living in close proximity to any large body of water brings inherent dangers.  Please don’t have that bewildered look, ask how this can happen or wonder how to stop it.  This is nature reacting to our environment.  Powerful weather, across the planet, is an unstoppable and, at times, a formable and deadly force.  My thoughts concerning this event aren’t meant to minimize what occurred or the sadness associated with the tragedy this storm created.  Natural disasters often create issues across the globe.  These incidents know no borders, boundaries and they do not discriminate.  Humans have no control over nature, and it’s foolish to think otherwise.  My thoughts and prayers go out to Florida, South Carolina and millions of people affected in southeastern America.  Our nation will be dealing with the aftermath of this hurricane for months, or years, to come.  

Struggles come, for us all, in various forms, shapes and sizes.  These challenges have the ability to impact us physically, mentally or spiritually.  “The Road” is a perfect place to sort through the issues that may block your forward progress.  I find peace and solace when I venture out onto my road.  This is the place I go to when I feel down, frustrated, or need answers.  It’s the place I feel at home, vibrant and comfortable.  It’s always a good listener.  When I remain very quiet and open my heart, I can hear it’s reply.  It’s a passion, that brings me joy, energy and answers.  My relationship, that recently ended, should have been my last.  Unfortunately, my own ego and trauma-based issues ruined what was the love of my life.  I was blinded by a notion that I could handle any obstacle and heal myself.  It’s that male combo of testosterone and stupidity, that held me back from admitting I needed help.  I’m grateful she pushed me to seek counseling; which ultimately lead me to EMDR therapy.  That was truly the breakthrough I needed to set my life on a new, freeing and fabulous path.  It broke my heart to let go of an amazing and incredible love.  I know it crushed her heart, as much as it did mine.  

Men need to know it’s okay to be open and honest with expressing emotions and feelings.  It’s okay to talk about and share how you feel, to ask for help, to cry, to be vulnerable, need support, go to therapy or break down.  None of these make you weak or any less of a man.  Many males learn, at an early age, that any outward display of emotions or feelings isn’t “manly.”  Why do men think this means you aren’t tough or strong?  This nonsense couldn’t be further from the truth.  I know this for a fact, because I use to be the man that withheld all of these.  I controlled them, kept them locked inside and held myself back from showing emotions freely.  I didn’t ask for help or know how to show vulnerability, because I didn’t want to appear weak.  The other part of my dilemma was, I just didn’t know how to ask for help.  I was afraid to seek support or go to therapy.  It’s taken me years and the loss of an incredible relationship and love, to realize I needed help, support and counseling.  Seeking professional assistance provided the guidance I needed.  It transformed my life, opening my heart and soul in ways I never knew were possible.  Therapy helped me heal trauma that closed me off from sharing myself with anyone.  It allowed me to recognize my inner strength and ability to love.  I learned how to be happy with myself.  It cracked my protective armor, I’d wrapped myself in many years ago.  This break-through placed me on a new and amazing path.  My journey brought me back to my road; with openness, honesty and the ability to freely share myself, my emotions, feelings and vulnerability.  It’s an amazing feeling!

I don’t mind being on my own, but I know life is so much better shared with an amazing partner.  I want to experience the incredible feeling love creates.  I miss it.  Dating isn’t any easier at my age, and at the moment, it’s the last thing on my mind.  I know that searching for something you desperately want, typically doesn’t yield positive results.  I believe the best approach is to give control to God and the universe.  When the time is right, an unexpected love will return with an amazing woman.  Dating has the ability to be easy, fun, fabulous, frustrating, complicated or down right messy.  I have learned much on this subject.  I haven’t been on the “dating circuit” for many years.  I’m definitely not eager, excited or thrilled be get back out there.  Sometimes I wonder, “Why even bother” or “What’s the point.”  I’m not against dating or anti women.  Dating seemed to be easier when I was younger, but when I look back, I realize it wasn’t as simple as I thought.  This was especially true when I dated women who were interested in potentially building a committed relationship.  I share my story with you, in the hopes it will help other men (and women).  I know there are many individuals who are unable to open themselves, for whatever the reason.  I was guarded, closed and fearful to be free.  No one wants to get hurt, especially in a relationship.  I was one of those people.  Many of us protect our heart; but if you never allow it to open, you will never experience the full joy or magical connection love creates.  I may not be your first choice for dating or relationship advice.  The good news, I’ve learned so much about myself, opened my heart and am ready to try again. 

In the end, we are each responsible for our own actions.  It’s up to us to change; alter our attitude, perceptions and deeds that make us better humans.  For me, it’s not so much that I’ve changed, but that my heart and soul have been released and opened to be the real me.  My mind has been freed after being locked up for so many years.  Living in fear or with constraints on emotions is no way to exist.  Fate, the universe and God may bring us together, but it’s my decisions that make me a better and happier person.  Opening my heart and soul to love, may create fear or risk, but the rewards can be amazing.  Don’t allow something that happened in the past prevent you from being happy in the present, or in your future.  Open yourself to the possibilities.  God and the universe work in mysterious ways.  My new mantra is to live with an open heart, mind and soul.  I place my trust in the magical powers of love and believe it can happen.  My next relationship will be my last.  I’m not looking, rushing or worried.  I trust the universe will bring an unexpected and instant connection.  We’ll find each other and she’ll want me, as much as I want her.  We’ll share a forever bond, friendship and love that is eternal.  Our thoughts shape who we are and where our future leads us.  Control your mind and thoughts, to guide you in the present and shape your future.  What you think, you will become.  “The Road” can be different for everyone.  My road clears my mind of negativity, empowers my present and energizes my future.  It leads me outside; to enjoy nature or simply to find a place to breathe.  What’s your “Road?”  Follow your dreams.  They know the way.

Please tune in and join me again next Sunday for more!  The puzzle of life is always changing.  Change can lead to amazing opportunities.  Together, let’s be healthy and strong; mentally, physically and spiritually! 

Thanks for your love and support!  Embrace Life!  Be sure to get outside and enjoy nature!